Archive for December, 2015

Conversations between Trump and other world leader if Trump were to become President. Part 2.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2015 by mrsdiagnosed

Trump vs the President of Mexico

Enrique Pena Nieto – “Buenos días Señor Trump.”

*Trump staring blankly at Enrique Pena Nieto*

Trump to his advisors. “Yes, I didn’t get any of that. Do any of you understand what the hell he just said?” They all shake their head no.

Advisor # 1. “No sir. None of us speak Spanish sir.”

“Trump – “Don’t we have spanish interpreters for this sort of thing?”

Advisor # 2. “Well sir we did, but you deported them all.”

Trump – “Well what about the white ones?”

Advisor # 2. “Ahhh….you deported them as well sir. Actually you deported anyone who spoke Spanish.”

Trump – “Well then, how am I supposed to talk to Tonto here?”

Advisor # 1. “Tonto was an American Indian sir. Not a Mexican.”

Trump – “Well then let’s just call him Paco. Hey Paco how are them chimichanga and burritos you rapist son of a wet back?”

Enrique Pena Nieto – “You do know I speak english don’t you?”

Trump – “Well what took you so long? I’ve been standing here trying to figure out how to communicate with you for the last 3 minutes.”

Enrique Pena Nieto – “No, you’ve been standing there making an ass out of yourself for the last 3 minutes.”

Trump – “Well listen here El Presidente, I need you to build a wall separating Mexico from America. And I want you to pay for it. AND, I want you to put in a nice door for the legal immigrants.”

Enrique Pena Nieto – “No.”

Trump – “You’re sending over all the bad ones because you don’t want to pay for them, you don’t want to take care of them.”

Enrique Pena Nieto – “I’m not “sending” over anyone. I have more important things to do then stand at the border and tell which Mexican to run over to the other side.”

Trump – “Do you have any idea how important I am. I can bomb Mexico if I want. You WILL pay for that wall, and you WILL give me a nice door!”

Enrique Pena Nieto – “No.”

Enrique Pena Nieto takes time out of his busy schedule to go down to the border to tell all the Mexicans already there, that Trump had asked them to tear down the wall that’s there, and then gives the cartel Trumps address.

Enrique Pena Nieto declares war on Trump. The Cartel is given free reign of America.

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Conversations between Trump and other world leader if Trump were to become President. Part 1.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 11, 2015 by mrsdiagnosed

Conversations between other world leaders and Donald Trump, if Donald Trump were president. Part 1. Disclaimer. Some of this conversation has been taken from actually quotes, but just like the “lame stream media” I have taken them completely out of context.

Trump & Putin

Putin – “Mr Trump. We have a huge crisis on our hands with ISIS. Now that you are President, how do you propose we go about handling the situation together with our other allies to achieve the greatest amount of damage to ISIS, yet trying to keep the civilian casualties down in that area?”

Trump – “Well Putin I’ve got a great idea. I can’t tell you what it is yet. But you’re going to LOVE it! You see I’m huge. My ratings are HUGE! Big! People are going to listen to me. ISIS is going to listen to me.”

Putin – “I agree you’re ratings are huge. BUT, you still haven’t answered my question as to HOW you’re going to do this?

Trump – “There’s nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.“

Putin – “That’s amazing. What’s your military background?”

Trump – “I don’t have one. I don’t fucking need one. I’ve built more casinos and buildings than anyone. I’m a pretty big deal in New York.”

Putin – “That’s great….but I think you might be getting off the subject a little bit. Can you please tell me what your plan is?”

Trump – “Putin, you pale little fuck. I said no, I have a plan but I don’t want to tell ISIS what it is, because I’m going to win.”

*Putin looks over at his advisors. They look back baffled*

Putin to his advisors – “Am I missing something here because I’m not sure we’re having the same conversation?”

Trump – “I would just bomb those suckers, and that’s right, I’d blow up the pipes, I’d blow up the refineries, I’d blow up every single inch, there would be nothing left.

And you know what, you’ll get Exxon to come in there, and in two months, you ever see these guys? How good they are, the great oil companies, they’ll rebuild it brand new… And I’ll take the oil.”

Putin to his advisors – “Guys like this are the reason I smoke weed.”

Putin declares war on Trump. America is bombed.

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