What would happen if Serial Killers, and one Serial Hypnotiser made friends on Facebook?
Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.
Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes
Larry – The Zodiac Killer
Jennifer – Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed
Charles Manson – I am so fucking excited! As of today I can get The Beatles on iTunes! Man! My vinyl copy of the White Album is really worn out. And, I am sure that they put some additional hidden messages on the digital version for me to figure out! The girls are going to be so stoked! I knew I was saving this last bag of mushrooms for a reason. Time for a naked, digital White Album, sex party! Who else is in?
John Wayne Gacy – I’m there. I’m bringing my clown make up and wearing nothing but a smile!!!!!
Charles Manson – You GOTTA wear the shoes. The girls love the shoes!
John Wayne Gacy – Just so you know I’m great at parties. Ted was kind enough to tape my last performance for you.
Ted Bundy – yeah, sorry there was four minutes of that. i kinda fell asleep. BURN!!
Zodiac Killer – I have a clown costume I can wear 😀
Gary Ridgeway – I am wearing fishnets and listening to Why don’t we do it in the road and replacing road with river hahahaha
John Wayne Gacy – Everyone ones a critic! Let’s see you juggle Ted. I’ll put one of your balls in one hand and the other one I’ll use as a hood ornament on my Cadillac.
John Wayne Gacy – Zodiac, now you can come to the New Years Eve party. Once we pick a place. Tell me where you live. we can carpool.
Zodiac Killer – aaaaaaa. . .. . . . thats ok there clown girl. . . . . . think I can manage on my own. but thanks.
John Wayne Gacy – For the last time the name is John. I am not sissy!!!!
Ted Bundy – wow. zodiac keeps calling you a chick, john. what’s up with the disrespect? i think he’s getting cocky on us because we can’t find him, cut off his infant sized member and feed it to him. isn’t that right, zodiac? it takes a killer to catch a killer. don’t get saucy with us bearnaise or i’ll be wearing you as a hat…and not in a good way.
John Wayne Gacy – That’s the Ted I know and love. I don’t think the Zodiac knows the rules. What do you expect from someone without a full psychological profile and a shiv as a bookmark?
Zodiac Killer – heeeeeyyyyy! I have a great member! And dont think i dont know what you 2 are doing. I invented reverse psychology. also,clowns dont hava gender. there freaks! And ted,why did you go straight for my “member” right off the bat? Are you hiding something?
Ed Gein – MOOOO! HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA! Figure that one out Zodiac!
Ted Bundy – zodiac, you did not invent reverse psychology. and anyone who has passed the 2nd grade knows that if you leave kills, especially couples kills unmolested…you’re impotent. obvious too is that you are very weak. you choose to kill with a gu…n and when you do use a knife, even after SIX stab wounds (to the back. pussy!) they survive!!! you do your stupid little letters because are trying to distract from the fact that you are a weak, impotent, loser who most likely writes code for a children’s video game. oh…and if you are so fucking smart…learn the difference between their, they’re, and there. bring it bitch. i’m right here.
John Wayne Gacy – I’m sorry, I was so caught up in the argument between the Zodiac and Bundy that I think I may have overlooked something. Gary, you’re wearing fishnets? Have you been having sleepovers with ed again?
Zodiac Killer – and yet, i still havnt been caught. Your obviously gay. it shows because you only go after harmless little girls. ooooooooooooo sucha big man. BTW, how was prison, did you enjoy your rapping?
Gary Ridgeway – What I do in the privacy of my own home is my business but I do have video! 🙂
Gary Ridgeway – Can’t we all just get along??
Ed Gein – Lookin good Gary, lookin good!!
Charles Manson – Wow guys! I was just trying to spread a little love and you all are trying to harsh my buzz. Dont make me send Tex and Sadie over for a little “visit” my little piggys.
Zodiac Killer – they started it!
John Wayne Gacy – Wow Gary. That was so nice I had to watch it twice.
Ted Bundy – zodiac? get a pen and pencil. i’ll wait….got it? okay. here we go: YOUR = possessive pronominal adjective 1. of, belonging to, made by, or done by you; as in “Your grasp of the English language is pathetic.” YOU’RE = a conjunctive joinin…g the word “you” and “are” as in, “You’re gay”. THEIR =possessive pronominal adjective: of, belonging to, made by, or done by them: also used before some formal titles [Their Majesties]: often used in connection with a preceding singular pronoun (as everybody, somebody, everyone): as in “Did everybody finish their killing spree?” also: adjective The possessive form of they.
1. at or in that place: often used as an intensive “Gary there is an awesome sociopath.”; in dialectal or nonstandard use, often placed between a demonstrative pronoun and the noun it modifies “That there woman needed killing.” 2. toward, to, or into that place; thither: “You go there and you will find the bodies.” 3. at that point in action, speech, discussion, etc.; “Then: there I paused before cutting out and eating her eyes.” 4. in that matter, respect, etc. “As to that: there you are wrong in assuming you are an intelligent person.” 5. at the moment; right now, “There goes any chance in myself and the Zodiac not slitting each others throats at the New Years Eve party.” noun: that place or point: “We left there at six to go dump her in the river.” interjection: 1. used to express defiance, dismay, satisfaction, etc.: “There, I’ve strangled and raped her anyway!” 2. used to express sympathy, concern, etc. when repeated: “There, there! Everything will be okay, little impotent, weak Zodiac…there, there.” Oh, and one more thing. The “rapping” in prison is great. Get the whole cell block busting some rhymes and it’s better than a Jay-Z concert. If you meant to ask me how the “raping” went, my ass is cherry. In prison, as in life, I am the king. Ball is back in your court Zodiac. Seriously, did you have a ghost writer for all of your little puzzles and rhymes, or was your grammar and spelling simply so atrocious that THAT was the reason they couldn’t figure it out…because it didn’t make SENSE!!!! Okay, my narcissistic tirade is over. Ted out.
I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.
Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: firstname.lastname@example.org