What would happen if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?


Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.

ROLL CALL!

Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes
Larry – The Zodiac Killer
Jennifer – Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed

 

Ed Gein – John, wasn’t sure if you saw my previous message, you seem to be a little preoccupied with Zodiac boy. Anyways, since you are better at planning parties than I am, I was hoping you could get me a list together of who is coming to Thanksgiving. I also wanted to insure everybodys safety so I have set random traps up in case anyone tries to get out of hand. Can’t wait to you all, hope every body can make it. Feel free to bring friends!

Zodiac Killer – what should i bring?

John Wayne Gacy – I think random traps are a great idea. I mean let’s be honest Charlie can be pretty unpredictable. I think he takes after his mother. I remember something about her selling him for a pitcher of beer to a childless waitress. So I think he may be somewhat of a wild card. Then there’s Dahmer. And we all know he’s never to be trusted around cutlery. I’m so glad you said we could bring friends. I was thinking about bringing Paul and Karla Homolka. They’re from Canada. I just love Canadians don’t you?

Ed Gein – Lets not talk about mothers. Mine is sitting in the chair and she won’t stop staring at me, it’s like even though she’s not with us any more, she knows I am up to something. Perhaps another coat of paint. Canadian bacon, YUMMY! Can’t wait! Zodiac, we don’t care what you bring or whom you bring, as long as it’s fresh!

Charles Manson – You know better than to talk about my mother John!

John Wayne Gacy –  Wow Charlie, I didn’t know you were so close with her. Did you all become BFF’s before or after she got out of prison for robbing a Charleston, West Virginia, service station? Let’s be honest here. Don’t you think you may have some mommy issues?

Charles Manson – You can’t blame mom for the crap that was force fed to her by grandmother. All the hard core religious bullshit FORCED her to get pregnant and have me at 16 and become a so-called “drunken criminal”. You just fear her because she is a reflection of your mother.

John Wayne Gacy – She looked like my mother?

Charles Manson – I totally forgot what we were talking about . . .

Zodiac Killer – im fresh.

Ed Gein – CHARLIE, ARE YOU COMING TO THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE???

Charles Manson – Only if I can bring all the girls, a sheet of acid and the Beatles White Album. Everyone is required to dose.

Ed Gein – TED? HERMAN? COUNTESS?? I know John’s bringing some delicious morsels, I believe Gary is bringing a Turkey and his own utensils, Jeff will be there and I think the Zodiac is coming you can never be to sure with him, but we will just have to wait and see!

Ed Gein – Yes, yes, and yes!! Charlie you know what happened last time, but I am up for it, I might even try a little experiment with mother!

Zodiac Killer – oh! exuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. but some of us have to try to enjoy the party without letting anyone know. jeeeeeeze.

John Wayne Gacy – Wear your disguise again. With those glasses on we will never be able to tell who you are. Don’t forget to wear gloves. Ted is on a mission to find out your identity. Last time you were over he swept the whole place for prints. The bleach you sprayed on the glassware last year was brilliant!

 

I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: mrsdiagnosed@yahoo.com

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