A tale of two Garths. Chapter 32. The shrinking of heads.

After driving all night we pulled into Durango at some ungodly hour.

“I’m so hungry…” Adam moaned from the backseat.

“Me too. I’m starving,” I added, completely sleep deprived. The sun was coming up and shining right into all ten of our blood shot eyes.

“Garth, how far are we from town?” KC asked. He was driving the car on what little energy he had left.

“We’re only like 20 minutes away,” Garth told all of us. This is probably where I should tell you that Garth has a little problem with time. Which became one of the many things that became the downfall of our already doomed relationship. If he said a half hour, what he really meant was and hour and a half, or maybe even two hours. Oh fuck it, make it three. So 20 minutes was more like 60.

We pulled into the little town of Durango like the Donner Party ready to just eat one another. What did they do with that damn weed infested Almond Butter? I’m so hungry! But before I could take a chunk out of Teresa’s leg we located exactly one restaurant that was open. Oh Teresa, you have no idea how close you were to becoming my breakfast. We pulled up in front of the little diner and piled out like zombies. Eggs…Eggs… Once we walked in the door all eyes fell on us.

“Why are they all staring at us?” I whispered to Garth.

“I think it’s because we’re not locals. Just act natural,” he said back. The place was packed with men. One grizzly looking mountain man after another was throwing back cup after cup of coffee. The entire place smelled of bacon coming from the grill that was located directly behind the front counter so you could watch them make your breakfast.

Luckily there was enough room at the counter for the five of us and each of us ate our weight in food.

After a wonderfully huge breakfast we made our way to the cabin we had rented for the pig roast. Teresa wasn’t so hip on the camping thing so we had opted to stay at hotel just down the way from where the Pig Roast was held every year. It was actually really nice; the hotel had five or six really large cabins on it and was located right on a riverbank. Each cabin has its own private patio overlooking the river. This time we were staying in style. Once we checked in and walked in the door Garth went right for my shampoo. He poured the entire bottle out and cut it open to get at the Foo Foo Dust.

“Aren’t you tired?” I asked him.

“I’m too excited to be tired,” he told me as he snorted a line.

“You guys owe me some shampoo and conditioner,” I told the wired KC and Garth as I made my way upstairs towards the bedroom and the long overdue nap.


The Pig Roast started off like the one the year before. People started to trickle in with their tents and slowly take over the property Glenn and Sheryl owned. The stage was set up, the pig pit was put in place and it was time for the festivities to begin. Becky, Ashley, Sam, and Mark hadn’t shown up yet but were on their way. They would be there just in time for the arrival of the pig. Which is why we were all there in the first place. But until then we all had to find a way to keep ourselves occupied. So mushrooms sounded like a good idea. Garth, KC, and I decided we should take some mushrooms before going to the wine tasting party that Garth’s uncle Jon had arranged in the middle of the forest. It was pretty cool actually. They had set up tables under a huge canopy and we all stood under it tasting different wines. It was very nice and relaxing. And that’s when the mushrooms kicked in. Oooohhhhhh wow… I thought as people were casually talking to me about the different aroma of this wine, and if I could taste the chocolate in that wine. All I could do was nod and smile.

“I think it may be time to go,” KC leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“I thought you would never ask,” I replied. We both gave Garth the “let’s get the hell out of here” look and kindly excused ourselves. As we walked away we could hear uncle Jon laughing and telling everyone under the canopy, “They’re shrooming.”

With our cover busted, we decided to just go for it and go out into nature to fully accept the experience. The three of us made our way out to the Aspen trees and peaked. I sat down right in the middle of the beautiful trees and just watched them sway above me in the gentle breeze until I became overwhelmed by their beauty. It was like they were all dancing just for me.

“Look, I’m trying to pay attention to each and every one of you but you’re just going to have to relax,” I scolded the trees.

“Who are you talking to?” Garth asked.

“Duh, the trees. They’re beautiful, but this attention seeking is starting to get on my nerves.”

“O- Okay…” Garth and KC giggled.

As I was being entertained by the trees, Garth and KC were being entertained by me talking to the trees. We sat out there forever.

Over the course of our mushroom trip, we had snuck back to camp numerous times to take food, steal three chairs, and claim one bottle of tequila for ourselves. The tequila was a bad idea though. Next thing I knew it was dark, we were in the middle of the forest and I was Indian drunk. Now there is drunk, and there is a little thing we call Indian drunk. If you have ever spent time on or near the Navajo reservation you know what I’m talking about. There is no alcohol allowed on the Navajo reservation. None. So when payday comes around some of the Navajo men like to make trips off the reservation to go cash their checks and get drunk. Not a little drunk. A LOTTA drunk. So drunk that they pass out on the grassy areas in front of the grocery stores. It’s actually very sad to see them this way. I have personally seen it myself and didn’t want to let my people down. My poor Navajo grandfather was rolling over in his grave on this particular evening.

“Heeelllloooo,” I said to anyone and everyone we passed in a drunken slightly shroomed out state.

“Is she okay?” Garth’s cousin asked as he walked by.
“She’s Indian drunk,” was all Garth had to say and everyone knew exactly what he meant.

After putting up quite a fight about the fact that I would only allow Adam to drive us back to the cabin, we finally made it home where Garth poured me into bed. I’m not exactly sure how long I slept but I woke up fully dressed with my steel toe Docks still securely on my feet. He didn’t even take my shoes off? Oh well, I’m already dressed so I guess I should go outside and see what’s happening. I walked out of the bedroom to find out I was completely alone. No one was there with me. They had dumped me off and left me there. Assholes. I decided then that Garth wouldn’t ditch me like that. He’s probably next-door at his dad’s cabin….Nope. Hummm. Maybe Rex and Carla’s. No. He had gone back to the roast. I couldn’t really blame him. So I just had a beer with Rex and Carla and went back to bed. But this time I took my shoes off.

When I woke up Garth was lying next to me in bed. Passed out. I got up and decided to have my coffee outside by the beautiful river and that’s when I saw KC by the car.

“Hey, how are you feeling this morning?” I asked him, considering he wasn’t looking so hot.

“Uh…I’m okay. I’m fine. I have to go get some food or something,” he said and then ran away from me like I was a leper. I just stood there in my pajamas, coffee in hand, completely baffled. Did I do something to him? KC and I had always had one of those relationships where we would tend to piss each other off more times then not. Especially when we lived together. But I was pretty sure we didn’t fight on shroom day. Who fights on shroom day? But KC was like that all morning. Wherever I went he left. He’s avoiding me.

Garth’s father Dee was staying in the cabin right next to us, and I finally pinned KC down when we were all next door.

“KC, did I say something mean to you last night?” I asked him once I had him pinned down in our cabin.

“No Stacy, everything’s fine.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you,” he said and then once again he walked away.

“He’s in love with you,” I heard from a voice I had come to know very well.

“Dee, what are you talking about?”
“KC and I were talking last night and I asked him how long he had been in love with you.” I just wanted to strangle Dee. Dee was a therapist on the Navajo Nation. He spent most of his time shrinking the heads of my blood brothers and now he had just shrunk the head of one of my good friends.

“Dee, he’s not in love with me. Were you two doing blow and drinking when you had this conversation?”

“Yes, but regardless, he’s in love with you.”

“Please don’t tell this to Garth,” was all I managed to say as I held back my desire to kill Dee on the spot. KC and I had been friends for years. KC did not love me. Dee had planted this little seed in his head and now I was going to go have to dig it up. I gave Dee a look that let him know I was not pleased and walked away to find my poor confused friend. It wasn’t easy. He must have been running all over the house to avoid me at every turn, but I was finally able to pin him down on the patio.

“KC, you are NOT in love with me! Don’t listen to Dee. He gets in peoples heads, that’s what he does.” I told him looking him straight in the eyes.

“Stacy, I don’t think I can talk to you right now,” KC said to me with a look in his eyes that tore at my heart. And then once again he walked away from me.

We made it through the roast and even managed to enjoy ourselves. But something happened. I don’t know who did what. If it was Garth or KC, but the boys stopped calling each other and we lost contact with KC. The roast would be the last time I would see my friend again.


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