What would happen if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?


Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.

ROLL CALL!

Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes
Larry – The Zodiac Killer
Jennifer – Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed

John Wayne Gacy – And it just get’s better and better. Gentleman, may I introduce you to our newest member the one, the only Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed. Probably most prolific female serial killer in history with a rumored death toll of over 600 victims. She makes us all look like pussies. I’m not going to lie here. I’m usually into men but I’m a little turned on right now.

Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed – John I have decided we need to add a little history and estorgen to this party. The virgin blood worked, I don’t look a day over 40. Unfortunatly with my current friends, who all pretty much give it up at the drop of a dime (yeah, their cheap to top it off) I’m going to age fairly quickly!

Zodiac Killer – I think Im in love.Is she available?

Charles Manson – I call dibs. She would fit in really well with my girls.

Gary Ridgeway – Gary here, Countess Welcome! Although I gotta tell ya you wear a little bit too much clothing for my taste. Do you maybe have some fishnets or some spandex? I am sure I have some around here somewhere, just get the stains out and they are good as new! And uh hey, if you ever want to team up lemme know. I have some special places where all the girls hang out. We could maybe grab dinner and a hooker sometime? Don’t answer just yet, think about it and I will work on getting those stains out of these leggings.

John Wayne Gacy – I’ll let her bath in my blood any day.

Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed – I actually bathe naked in their blood so stains usually aren’t an issue unless they fight back. Fortunately most of the girls are peasants and know their place in society which for them means under my rule and knife/sward/rock or whatever else is handy! I’ve currently been volunteering with the Girl Scouts and because of those damn cookies I need the corsets to hide my ass!

Charles Manson – Just so you know Lizzy, not a single one of my girls are virgins. Hell, I don’t even know a virgin. So, bathing in their blood will not keep you young. I think you might dig exploring other options to keep you young. Sadie is an excellent guide.

Gary Ridgeway – Um, I wasn’t talking about blood stains. Just a quick trip to the dry cleaners- Countess have you ever heard of Monica Lewinsky? 😉

John Wayne Gacy – Volunteering with the Girl Scouts? I like the way you think. I’m not sure if I’ve told you this about me Countess but I’m a member of the Norwood Park Township street lighting committee. I’m also bisexual.

Charles Manson – Aren’t we all Johnny? Aren’t we all? Hell, I don’t even mind prison. There’s plenty of sex in prison.

Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed – Charles – I have to disagree with you. I survived 2 wars, an old fart husband, killed over 600 people and the only way they could kill me was to lock me up and deny me my blood. My nickname is “Countess Dracula” for a reason!

Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed- OH, THOSE STAINS!! It’s hard to see them under the pieces of skin and feces splatter.

Zodiac Killer – did somebody say bi-sexual?

Ed Gein – I envy you countess, being a woman and all…..If only…..Anyway welcome countess welcome to the group!

I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: mrsdiagnosed@yahoo.com

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