What would happen if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?


Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.

ROLL CALL!

Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes

Ed Gein – How are all my favorite killers this morning? As for me, I am still working hard and still taking orders, not only from mother, but also for Christmas. Craftsmanship of this quality takes some time people, so lets get those orders in!

Charles Manson – Just sitting here in my trash dump with your discarded children. Being sick and tired of being crucified for your sins. Just remember, there is no wrong in love.

Ted Bundy – we have got to get you on the freakin meds, chaz. seriously. you are one crazy s.o.b. I’ll do my best to find myself a pharmaceutical rep for one of the psych hospitals around here. maybe i can get you some free samples. you just have to promise me you’ll take them! and ed, my brother. i’m hitting up several festivals this weekend…should have enough hair and nipples to be able to overnight my shipment on monday. so have your mom go out to get her hair done or something on tuesday. will that work for you?

John Wayne Gacy – Ed, I was wondering if you could make me a wallet out of foreskin? That way I could just rub it in case I needed a suitcase.

Ted Bundy – Charles, you know what? You’re right. On another note, I know your girls have a habit of spreading around a pretty resistant strain of gonorrhea, so I took the liberty of going to a compound pharmacist to make up some medicated douches for …them. I let the guy know that you’re all about the natural stuff so along with the antibiotics he made sure to add spring water, clozapine chamomile, aloe, trade-free risperidone, tea tree oil, and rose hipped haldol. It’s important that you be treated too, so the pharmacist said to be sure and have sex with one lady in the morning (be sure the liquid is still in there…what a treat, right?), and two ladies in the evening. That’s three ladies every day, Charles. I’m sure you’re still man enough. One lady in the morning, two in the evening, preferably with a light snack and right before bed. Be careful operating heavy machinery until you know how sexing up this many pre-douched ladies will effect you.

Charles Manson – Wow! So you want me to slow down on the free love? I usually make love to my girls at least a dozen times a day. Don’t get me wrong though. I really do appreciate you helping us out with the meds. The discharge and painful urination is killing me! (No pun intended). While you are at it, do you think you can get something to kill these damn crabs? We have a serious infestation!

Ted Bundy – you got it, charlie! sending a crate of nair, bleach and laundry detergent to your pad asap. sending a crew of cleaning ladies over there to give your love nest a good shaking. nice opportunity to pick up a few new ones for the flock. as for slowing down the…um, love making…the pharmacist just said to douche and ride to your heart’s content. a little bit more of the medication shouldn’t hurt at all. enjoy!!!

Ed Gein – I know what i’m making Charlie for Christmas! I won’t say what, it’s going to be a surprise, but I think foreskin will will perfectly! And for all his girls, definitely some ball sack earrings, it will give them an unsuspecting place to hide there dope.

Charles Manson – That is genius Eddy! Scrotum earrings to hide their stash! Can you make me a clitoral hood neckace for me? Pretty please? I will let you select one of the guys that hang around the ranch to do what you will with.

Ed Gein – ummmm, awkward, I will get started on the necklace, but, not really into guys, sex, whatever, I am pretty much into self satisfaction, sometimes I like to watch mother undress through the crack in the door, but thanks anyways! I have a question for you though, you know that stuff you gave me? Well ever since then every time I hear a rooster crow I have an overwhelming urge to piss my self. How long is this going to keep happening?

Charles Manson – You don’t have to have sex with them. You can just hack them up and use their parts. Whatever feels good to you man! Like I said, there is no wrong in love brother.

I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: mrsdiagnosed@yahoo.com

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