What would happen if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?
Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.
Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes
Dr. Henry Howard Holmes – Well it is about damn time I get the recognition I deserve. And don’t you just love it that they refer to me as “the 19th century equilalent of Hannibal Lecter”? A little history lesson here people. I killed 27 people (at least that is what I am admitting to), unlike a few of my distinguished pen pals here, I didn’t eat a single one of them. Not that there is anything wrong with that. You are still my boy Jeff.
Ted Bundy – i’m so happy you are getting the recognition you deserve. i must admit, i’m a little jealous. i get mark harmon, you get dicaprio. not good to wound my ego, h.h.
John Wayne Gacy – I’m not going to lie. I would like to wrap DiCaprio up and put him in my crawl space. That man makes makes my toes curl.
Ted Bundy – john, you need to get laid…like NOW. aren’t you currently living with jeff? can’t you guys just turn out the lights and play “find-a-hole” or something? i’m starting to feel really bad for you, man. it’s painful to watch.
John Wayne Gacy – Look Ted, I have a big appetite. And it’s not just for food.
Jeffrey Dahmer – What the hell? You get DiCaprio and I get some straight to video schlock? Go up to anybody on the street and ask them who H.H. Holmes is, and dollars to ball sacks you’ll get head scratches and kids hitting up Wikipedia. Ask them who the Dahminator is, and THEY KNOW MY NAME. F***ing Hollywood.
Jeffrey Dahmer – Hey Leo! What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? I am, motherf***er.
Dr. Henry Howard Holmes – Sounds like somebody has victim envy. Sorry Jeff, even Hollywood knows that 27 is more than 17.
Charles Manson – I want to put a wig on that sweet boy, spray him with patchouli oil, give him (and me) a headful of mushrooms and have my way with him.
John Wayne Gacy – Ohhhh, nice one Henry! Snap!
I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.
Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: firstname.lastname@example.org