What if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?


Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site itself. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.

ROLL CALL!

Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes

John Wayne Gacy – Okay, I’ve looked into some health insurance for us. Aetna may be willing to cover us for medical, dental, vision, and I’m still negotiating mental health. That one is going to be a little tricky. They say they will cover us as long as no one is bi polar. Charlie, I’m looking at you buddy.

Ted Bundy – easy one. i took psych classes in undergrad and i can tell you all the the questions that fish for bi polar. and yeah, charlie…you need to play ball with this one. no lone wolf try to manipulate the psychiatrist into your flock bullshit. these days we’ve got to have the coverage. play nice.

Charles Manson – Bi polar. Polar bi. Hey man, it’s all the same to me. I took your discarded children and gave them a home man. Prison? I ain’t afraid of prison. There’s plenty of sex in prison.

John Wayne Gacy – Charlie, it’s rambling like that that’s going to get us turned down. Can you take your normal pills for just one day? PLEASE. Do it for Ed. He’s old and needs his meds.

Charles Manson – Just watch this video of me and TRY to say I’m bi polar! You came to me man! I was running away from all that! I’m a boxcar and a jug of wine.

John Wayne Gacy – Oooookay. Ted buddy I think we may have a problem here. It looks as though getting group health insurance may be a tad difficult. Charlie is unfit for any sort of examination. His haircut alone will tip off mental health services. Our best …bet is for him to pretend he’s mute. Dahmer is a raging alcoholic, Ridgway’s IQ is so low we can’t let him speak for himself, I have split personality disorder, and Ed is convinced he’s been talking to Lizzie Borden. Our only hope for this thing to go through is for you and Henry to do all the talking. Between your charm and Henry’s business savvy, I think we could have a group plan in time for Ridgway’s date Friday night.

Dr. Henry Howard Holmes – Easy enough. I have been schooling insurance companies for over 100 years. I can get every one of us covered. Everybody is probably going to have to put me down as the beneficiary though. Especially those of us that keep inviting the cops in for coffee.

John Wayne Gacy – Again with the coffee. I’ll consider it as long as your wife..or should I say wives aren’t on the policy as well.

Gary Ridgeway – Can we get my girls covered? Squeaky is having some health issues.

John Wayne Gacy – Charlie, I’m not sure if STD’s are on the plan. Tell Squeaky to try the free clinic.

Ted Bundy – {facepalm} charlie, charlie…okay brother, you’ve got a motorcycle, a sleeping bag and 15 women. go do something with them until we can get this insurance thing figured out. just…for the love of god just don’t speak or be filmed doing ANYTHING right now. H.H., is there anyway for you to fake documentation making charlie and his angels dependents or “children” of some of we more “sane” members of the brotherhood? maybe establish one of your hotels as an independent living facility, receive assistance from the government AND insurance? think we could get that rolling?

I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: mrsdiagnosed@yahoo.com

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2 Responses to “What if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?”

  1. makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

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