What would happen of Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?


Welcome to another installment of Serial Killer’s on Facebook. For those of you just joining us, what we have here is a social experiment. We wanted to see what would happen if we took the identities of serial killers and put them on a social network such as Facebook. Most of us have had our serial killers chosen for us by the “What Serial Killer Are You?” application on the Facebook site it’s self. But for those of us who couldn’t get into the application, or took the quiz and scored one of the other serial killers already in the group, they got to pick who they wanted to be. Lucky bastards! So let’s start with a roll call.

ROLL CALL!

Stacy – John Wayne Gasy. AKA Pogo The Clown.
Emily – Ted Bundy
Michelle – Ed Gein AKA Buffalo Bill
Chrisitna – Gary Ridgeway AKA The Green River Killer
Jeremy – Jeffrey Dahmer.
Ron – Charles Manson
Ryan – Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes

John Wayne Gacy – Good morning gentlemen. Our numbers keep growing and we have a new friend to welcome into our little circle of friends. A Mr. Herman Webster Mudgett. AKA Dr. Henry Howard Holmes. He’s a special treat as he is not only one of America’s first document serial killers, but he is also a bigamist. His body count is around 27. Or at lest that’s what he’s willing to admit to. And he inspired a book that I’ve personally read titled The Devil in the White City.

Gary Ridgeway – Welcome to the group Henry, very impressive body count. What would you like us to call you? Anyway, just got back from the river, I need my rest- Happy hunting everyone!

Ed Gein – It’s all about the body count these days, nobody cares about craftmanship anymore! Welcome Henry!

Dr. Henry Howard Holmes – Thanks John, it is great to be here amongst such distinguished company. Gary, I hope you had a great time at the river! You can call me Henry. We are all friends here.

Charles Manson – Hey Henry man. How’s it grooving? When you get done with your “work”, come on down to the ranch and get high with me and the girls. Oh, gotta go now. Sexy Sadie is ready for a little love group therapy.

Dr. Henry Howard Holmes – Thanks for the invite Charles! Any of those girls happen to be blond? I like blonds.

Ted Bundy – ed, we all admire your work enormously! you are a god among men with us. what up, HH? with you on board let’s start planning a hotel. can you create a basement so that our buddy gasy can keep his boys close AND invite the cops in for coffee? really great group we have going here…REALLY great group.

John Wayne Gacy – What? They looked thirsty! I’m never going to live this one down am I?

Ted Bundy – Sorry John…can’t let it go. Ask Jeff about the “flying owls” one of these days.

John Wayne Gacy – Yo Jeff, what’s up with the flying owls? I take it you like owls. I also read somewhere that you used to work in a Chocolate Factory and that you like chocolate. Dark chocolate. I don’t know how you feel about white chocolate and clowns but I wanted to dedicate this song to you. I see that we have some things in common and think we could be REAL good friends if you know what I mean.

John Wayne Gacy – Jeff…call me.

Jeffrey Dahmer – J-Dub, I’m flattered. Truly, I am. But part of my DIEt involves cutting out unnecessary carbs, and J-Dub my pal, you’re making that clown suit scream in agony. And truth be told, yes, I do have more of a palate for soul food and Asian fusion, if you get my drift.

Jeffrey Dahmer – Cracks me up that you invited the cops in and got caught, though, Johnny. How’s this for “He Got Game”: A naked, drugged, and handcuffed teen fled from my house and flagged down the cops. I invited them in and convinced them that the boy was a jilted lover. They, too, reported strange smells. I told them it was patchouli; it was actually Tony Hughes. They left, and I had the boy for dinner. So, uh…chalk one up in the “W” column for the Dahminator in the whole “Dahmer vs. Gacy” debate. Suck it!

Jeffrey Dahmer – And in case you’re wondering, the whole “Dahmer vs. Gacy” thing has gone Hollywood. Or, straight to video…

Ted Bundy – for the love of god…jeff and john just get it on already!! this courtship crap is making me a little pukey.

Gary Ridgeway – I agree- I am about to walk into the river and end it all myself! LOL.

Ed Gein – Lizzie B has a Dahmer vs. Gacy shirt, I guess they held a party at her bar/eatery. Save it Lizzie B.

Ted Bundy – that video is brilliant. now you two go slap noodles till you get alfredo sauce. dinner’s ready.

Gary Ridgeway – I think I just threw up a little- I am going to see my working girls, I need a fix. Bye.

I hope you enjoyed our little conversation and found it educational as well. We have been doing research on ourselves as well as on each other so we know what buttons to push, how to compliment one another, and for basic knowledge. Until next time, sleep tight.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: mrsdiagnosed@yahoo.com

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