What would happen if Serial Killers made friends on Facebook?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if serial killers joined Facebook and friended each other? Probably not. But I have. It all started back in 1972 when I was just a wee lass in the hills of Ireland. Oh who am I kidding, it started Friday night when I took a “What serial killer would you be?” quiz on Facebook. It is really accurate. They ask you things like what is your favorite color and what kind of car would you drive? Then a team of top notch scientists come together and find your perfect serial killer match. I am the ever popular John Wayne Gacy.
Of course it’s not fun being a serial killer by myself so I encouraged my friend Emily to take the quiz. She got Ted Bundy. Then it just went on. Christina got Gary Ridgway. AKA the green River Killer. And then Michelle popped on and scored Ed Gein. AKA Buffalo Bill. And rounding up our serial killers (for now) is the always entertaining Jeffrey Dahmer. Played by Poptart himself. “But Stacy, that is so sick and twisted!” you say. True, but if you take a step back from the reality for the moment and just try and let your mind wander into the land of sillyness. I think you too will see that this is not only an interesting experiment, but an educational one as well. So let me take you to the post that started it all.
What serial killer are you?
Stacy got John Wayne Gacy.
One of the most notorious serial killers, “respectable” Chicago-area businessman hires young men to work in his contracting company, then rapes and murders scores of them, burying their bodies on his properties. In prison, he became the focus of researching the psychopathic mind.
Stacy – Okay, that’s probably not good. LOL!! Your turn Emily.
Emily – eee gads!! people should run…
Emily – you’re an attractive, educated woman…you aren’t trying to break up with me, are you. ARE YOU?!?!?!
Stacy – No. Didn’t you notice the part where it says I’m “respectable.”
Emily – haha! sorry, my bad. how does poptart feel about the clown makeup?
Stacy – I’m thought it might be fun to spring my extracurricular activities on him later tonight. I’m going to wait for him come to bed and then jump out at him with the mask on. I think we will appreciate me more that way.
Emily – that’s so hot…
Christina (Gary) – Dear John, I have read up on you and I want you to know that I don’t think your a momas boy at all! However, sexual experiences for $50?? Your lucky your dead now because that rate would never fly in this economy! By the way, I sure do like your clown outfit- have you met my friend Ron??
Stacy (John)- Dear Gary, thank you for your kind words. I’m so happy you like my clown outfit. I don’t know if you can tell but I made it myself. I actually have been trying to meet your friend Ron but he wont return any of my phone calls. Do you think maybe you could put in a good word for me?
Christina (Gary) – SURE! I know for a fact that this weekend he is at Disneyland- you know the happiest place on earth? And I sure nothing would make him happier then to see you jump out from behind a corner and give him a great big ol bear hug. If he runs, don’t take that as rejection, he runs as a sign of affection- chase him, he will be worth the catch I am sure! Good luck and tell him Christina and Stacy sent you!
Since this conversation we have started a group page where we can all communicate with one another in our characters. I will be posting this from time to time but I will be using the characters names instead of our own so there will be less confusion. I hope you enjoy our little experiment because if you don’t…Ed may be coming for you.
Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Send questions, comments, brownie recipes or random brainfarts to: email@example.com