A Tale Of Two Garths. Chapter Twelve. Mechanical Bulls and Pauly Shore’s Phone Number.


“Hey Stacy, it’s Shevonne.”
“Oh, hi Shevonne,” I said into the phone slightly confused. Why is she calling me? “What’s up?”
“David is going out of town and I have to go to this movie premier tomorrow night and don’t have anyone to go with, and David suggested I take you,” she said.
“Yeah, that sounds like fun. I’ve never been to a movie premier before. What should I wear?”
“Oh, it’s just a little one. It’s no big deal. Just wear something black, that’s usually a safe bet.”
“Sounds good. I’m totally excited,” I told her. And that was it, I was going to my first movie premier and I didn’t know a soul. Except Shevonne of course. My acting class was starting to pay off in more ways than one. I was doing well in class and was no longer the person people hid from when scene partners were picked. And now my acting teacher’s girlfriend was calling me to ask me to go to a premier with her. It made me feel good that David had thought of me and that I was getting the opportunity to get to know Shevonne better. My life in LA was starting to take shape even though there was a huge part of my heart living in Pacific Beach at the time.

“Grrrrr. I don’t have anything to wear,” I said to myself as I stared into my closet, which was full of cut off jean shorts, Birkenstocks and t-shirts. I definitely need to go shopping. I also definitely didn’t have the money or time. Hung, I thought. It was like a really well dressed light bulb had gone off in my head. I wonder if I can fit into something of Hung’s? She was my only chance.
“Huuunnnnggg,” I whined as I walked in the room she and Claire shared.
“Yeeeeessss,” she whined back as she sat on the bed reading a fashion magazine to help her plan out her next fall wardrobe.
“I’m going to a movie premier and I don’t have anything to wear. Can I borrow something?” Now the problem with borrowing Hung’s clothes was she was a size or two smaller than I was at the time and at least 6 inches shorter. But all was not lost. In the past I had been able to wiggle my way into an item or two. I even managed to stuff myself into her pleather pants once when she was at work. True I looked like a stuffed sausage but I got in them and that’s all that counts. As Hung and I dug through her closet trying on one thing after another we kept coming up empty. Too small, too short, too slutty.
“Did you try Claire’s clothes?” Hung suggested.
“Too girly,” I told Hung. “I need something with an edge to it.” And that’s when Hung pulled out the perfect black dress. It was a little long on Hung so it fit me perfectly. It was meant to be.
“Hung, you are a fashion life savior.”

The next night I drove down to Paramount Studios, parked my car out on the street and met up with Shevonne so I could get past security and onto the lot. As we walked up all I could see was a sea of beautiful people and flash bulbs. This is so cool. We made our way towards the lobby of the theater where we got absorbed into the crowd of people making their way inside.
“Is that Denzel Washington?” I asked Shevonne pointing like I was a tourist on Sunset Boulevard.
“Yeah, he’s in the movie,” she said nonchalantly. Oh my God, I am so glad I wore this dress. I owe Hung big time, I thought as I pictured myself amongst all the beautiful people in a pair of tattered cut off’s. I was doing my best to stay with the group and not to act like a total geek but I was surrounded by Hollywood royalty. There were people posing for pictures, others hob knobbing, and then some were just there to look fabulous. And I was none of the above. I didn’t know why I was there, but what I did know was that I was invited and that was all that mattered. Shevonne and I pushed our way through the crowd and all I could think of while I was in this multitude of talent was, I have to pee so bad. It’s a curse but when I get too excited I just have to go pee.

After I found the bathroom I came out and found Shevonne talking to a beautiful tall brunette woman and a man with long hair and a beard.
“Stacy, this is my sister Nicole and her husband Brett,” Shevonne said as she introduced me to our two new friends.
“Are you ladies ready?” Brett asked as motioned for us to go into the theater. I just nodded and smiled. I felt like I was Charlie and I had just won the golden ticket to the Chocolate Factory. Brett’s wife led the way and we waked into the huge theater and straight to some reserved seats that were smack dab in front of Denzel. Brett sat on my right with Shevonne on my left and I couldn’t help but notice that Brett was an extremely popular guy. Wow, he’s like the prom king or something.
“Why is Brett so popular?” I whispered in Shevonne’s ear.
“Because he’s the director,” she whispered back.
“What movie is this?”
”Virtuosity,” she whispered back as the lights went down and the movie began.

As the movie went on I just sat there watching and that’s when I noticed the actor who played the part of SID 6.7 was sitting right in front of me a little to my left. This. Is. Awesome! After the film was over the crowd all started clapping so I joined in of course. Then the lights came on and people started congratulating Brett and shaking his hand so I did too. Good job chap. Hip hip and all that. We then made our way outside and I didn’t know what to do with myself. There were so many people and so much was going on I just did my best to keep an eye on Shevonne. I was happy once we finally got outside and out of the lobby so I could get a breath of fresh air. That’s when I noticed a huge chocolate fountain with strawberries all around it. I am in heaven. I immediately made a beeline to the fountain and started shoving my face with chocolate covered strawberries.
“There’s an after party do you want to go to it?” Shevonne asked me as she caught me mid stuffing.
“Uh huh,” I mumbled with a mouth full of strawberries and my fingers covered in chocolate. Shevonne and I then jumped in my Firebird and made a break for Sunset Boulevard and the Sunset Tower Hotel.

Considering neither Shevonne nor I had any money on us and couldn’t pay for the valet we took our chances by parking my car in the parking lot of the Saddle Ranch Chop House. A restaurant well known for it’s bad service, and young hot chicks trying to do their best impression of Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy by dry humping the mechanical bull. If you ever go there and decide to ride the bull I would bring a can of Lysol and a body condom. You don’t know where that bull has been. So we parked the car and prayed it wouldn’t get towed and ran across the street to the hotel where the after party was.
As we walked up to the front doors of the hotel we were stopped by possibly one of the greatest young actors of our time.
“Hey ladies, how are you doing tonight?” Oh my God! Is that Pauly Shore?
“Fine how are you?” Shevonne replied smiling at him.
“I’m good. What are you two beautiful women up to this evening?”
“We’re on our way to a party,” she informed him.
“That’s too bad. I’m going over to the Comedy Store and wanted to know if you two wanted to join me.”
“We can’t, we really have to go to this,” she continued.
“Well let me give you my number,” he said to Shevonne giving her the sexy eyes. “You should call me.” No he didn’t.
“Thanks,’ she said as she took his card. Once we got inside the hotel we both broke into a fit of giggles.
“I can’t believe Pauly Shore just hit on you,” I told her.
“I know, right?”
“What are you going to do with his number?” I asked.
“Throw it away,” she replied.
“Can I have it?”
“What are you going to do with it? You have a boyfriend.”
“I’m not exactly sure yet, but I have an idea,” I told her.

We made our way into the bar where we met up with Brett and Nicole and proceeded to get a couple of cocktails. Brett was still the man of the evening and his attention was in high demand. Finally when he got a free moment he looked at the three of us and asked a magical question.
“Do you want to go get stoned?”
Shevonne just looked at me. I could tell she was uncomfortable because she and I didn’t really know each other all that well and now her brother-in-law was asking me if I wanted to get high.
“I don’t,” she said. Awwww, bummer. “But I’ll go with you if you want to.”
“Yes please,” I said as I was jumping up and down on the inside.
“Follow me,” said the Brett who was quickly becoming my new best friend.

We walked out of the hotel to a limo that was parked out front and Brett opened the door for the three of us girls to climb inside. While I was climbing in I realized we were not alone. Once we all took our seat I smiled at the man sitting across from me. It was Sid 6.7 from the movie.
“Oh, Shevonne, Stacy, this is Russell,” Brett said as he introduced me to Sid 6.7.
“Nice to meet you,” he said in New Zealand accent. Then Brett rolled the fattest joint with some of the kindest weed I had ever smoked. At that moment in time I really, really liked Los Angeles. There I was smoking kind bud, sitting across from an unquestionably good-looking guy with a really sexy accent, and I had Pauly Shore’s phone number in my pocket to do with as I pleased. I was having a hell of a good time.
“Hey we’re having another party next weekend do you girls want to come?” Brett asked.
“Yes!” I responded hoping Shevonne wanted to go because I sure did.

After we got stoned we went back inside and Brett gave us all the info to the party the next weekend. Shevonne and I said our goodbye’s and I bid adieu to Sid 6.7. I wouldn’t really hear about him again until he would star in L.A. Confidential and I would say, “Hey, I smoked pot with that guy!” But by then he was no longer Sid 6.7. He was better known as Russell Crowe.

It was getting late and I was getting tired. Shevonne was tired. It was time to go home. I needed my rest after all, I needed to be in tiptop shape because I had big plans for the next day. Hung and I were going to crank call Pauly Shore. Hung just didn’t know it yet.

To be continued…

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