2nd Honeymoon in Mexico. Part 5. Valerie wants to jump ship.
After the Island of Utter Disappointment Poptart and I were a little leery of signing up for any more tours. But hey, why learn your lesson the first time when you can learn it a second time instead?
“Now this one looks good,” Poptart said handing me the brochure for a romantic sunset cruise with a dinner included.
“Me likey.” How could you go wrong with a sunset cruise? On the brochure they showed a couple sitting on a boat with the breeze in their hair and the sunset in the background sipping champagne. It was perfect! So we signed up for it.
The night of the cruise we were so excited. We both spent extra time getting dressed and making ourselves extra pretty for each other. Poptart was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a black button up shirt. He was looking hot! I myself was wearing a tan low-cut dress and a pair of gold stilettos. We are a couple ready to wine and dine each other.
We hopped the van that took us to the docks to catch the boat for the cruise and were told to meet at the front office of the company that sold the tickets for the cruise. Once Poptart and I walked up we realized we were extremely over dressed. Having come from San Diego we had a certain idea in our head about what the cruise was going to look like. For instance, this is what the San Diego boat looks like http://www.sdhe.com/san-diego-yacht-charters-spirit-san-diego.html. And this is what our boat in Mexico looked like http://www.bigfoto.com/themes/ships/boats-5sl1.jpg. Okay, I’m kidding. It wasn’t that bad. But it did look like this http://www.123rf.com/photo_1326998_sailboat-racing-in-the-winter.html. . Once Poptart and I made it down the dock and saw the boat we just looked at one another and started laughing.
“Don’t say I don’t take you to the nicest places,” he said.
“This is too funny,” I giggled back to him.
“Everyone will need to give us their shoes,” the First Mate told us. I just looked at Poptart. He knew how much I loved those shoes.
“But…those are my shoes…” was all I could get out as they tossed my beautiful gold stilettos into a trash bag along with the shoes from the other 5 people going on the cruise.
“Now we will need your purses and wallets,” The First Mate said.
“Are we being robbed?” I whispered to Poptart.
“I don’t know,” he said while handing over his wallet. I watched Poptart hand over his wallet and it was as if I couldn’t help myself. Where my husband goes I shall follow. So I gave them my red Prada purse. I am still quite shocked at this because I love this purse. Not in a,”Hey check out my cool new purse,” kind of way. But if I was given the option of keeping either keeping my dog or my purse. I would seriously be leaning towards the purse. The First Mate took my beautiful purse and threw it into a trash bag. I am starting to really not enjoy this cruse. Then they helped all three couples on board this tiny boat. There was one couple that sat on the front of the boat and Poptart and I sat in the back of the boat with the Captain and another couple.
As the Captain began to motor us out to sea Poptart and I just leaned back and soaked up the ocean. My dad has always lived by the beach and owns a boat so being on the water for me is pretty much second nature. Once we got out far enough the Captain cut the motor and hoisted the sail. The wind hit the sails and the boat dipped and turned with it. At this point the Fist Mate came out of the galley and handed us frosty mixed cocktails. I was now so into the cruise I had completely forgotten about the fact that they had taken my shoes, my purse and that I was dressed like a slut. I was just enjoying the ocean wind in my hair and had the arm of the man I love wrapped securely around me. Life was good. Just as I was about to fall into to happy coma I heard, “YOU HAVE TO TURN THIS BOAT AROUND!!!”
“I can’t do that,” the Captain said.
“No, no, no, no. I’m serious, you have to take me back to shore,” the woman sitting across from us said.
“I can’t do that,” the Captain repeated. Oh why didn’t we sit in the front of the boat? The poor woman sitting across from us was freaking out staring at the shore, which was so far out of reach at this point.
“I can’t do this! Please…” she pleaded with tears streaming down her face. Her husband put his arms around her and tried his best to comfort her but she was inconsolable. Even with all her pleading the Captain still refused to turn the boat around. As far as he was concerned she was just going to have to suck it up.
“Hi,” I said to her leaning over towards her. “My name is Stacy.”
“Val..er..ie,” she said in a sob.
“Look, I know you don’t know me, but I get really bad panic attacks to the point where I can’t breathe. I think you may be having one now,” I said to her as she looked at me with a glazed over look in her eyes. If I could only get her to focus for just a couple of seconds on what I was trying to say. “Valerie, I have Xanax in my bag. Have you ever taken a Xanax?”
“No…I… don’t…I don’t think I want one,” she said, with her eyes darting all around the boat.
“Honey, listen to what she’s saying to you,” her husband chimed in. I could tell by the look on his face he was really worried about her. Probably not for the same reasons I was. You see, Valerie had one of those looks in her eyes that some people get right before they are about to do something really desperate and really stupid. And personally we were way too far from shore for stupidity at this point.
“Valerie, the dosage I have is only a .05mg. This is almost nothing, I usually only take a half and I’m fine. If you take a half, I promise you WILL calm down.”
“O…o…okay,” she whimpered. I leaned into the Galley and asked the first mate to hand me my purse from the bag and pulled out my tiny little saviors. These tiny little pills had, on more than one occasion, saved me from being tied down on airplanes. If they could help me, they could certainly help her. I took one out of my prescription bottle and broke it in half and gave it to her. She just looked at me with utter terror in her eyes.
“Trust me…please,” was all I could say. From here on out it was up to her what she did.
“Take it sweetie,” her husband encouraged her.
About a half hour later Valerie was pleased as punch. She was drinking and smiling. Hell you didn’t even know she was the same woman who looked like she was about to attack the Captain just 30 minuets earlier.
“Thank you so much!” she said to me in a full grin.
“You’re welcome,” I replied. From there on out it was a party sunset cruse. We were downing frosty drinks and laughing our asses off. Poptart and I climbed onto these two chairs that sat off the back of the boat. They were raised up pretty high into the air and he and I felt like the King and Queen of the ship. Even better, nobody felt compelled to yell out “I’m the King of the World!” It was really awesome.
Then the first mate told us to get ready for dinner. And boy was I ready. I had a pretty good buzz on and was hungry as hell. That’s when he stuck his hand out of the Galley and I grabbed the paper plate with some crackers, cheese, salami and a couple of shrimp on it. Wait a second..this isn’t dinner. Oh well, fuck it. Who the hell cares? We were having so much fun at this point we no longer cared that we had been robbed blind with the price of the tickets. We had made some new BFF’s in Valerie and her hubby Jared.
After the boat docked the four of us roamed the little seaside village until we came across a really cute little seafood restaurant and ate there. We exchanged a couple of stories and told each other we would keep in touch but of course we didn’t. But it didn’t matter, for that moment in time we had met some great people and had a really fun experience. And isn’t that what life is really all about? Once we left Valerie and Jared, Poptart and I stopped and bought some cigars before we hopped the van back to the hotel. We decided to go back to our room, sit back on the balcony, smoke some cigars and just enjoy the view for the last night of our trip. Because the next day we were going home.
To be continued…