Revenge knows no boundaries.

My mother-in-law. Where do I start? Um… okay. I’m pretty sure I am not my mother-in- law’s first choice of wife for her son. However, that being said she’s pretty awesome. She has come to accept me, even though I think she may at times go into the bathroom, put her head in the sink and just cry. You see, my mother-in-law and I are from VERY different backgrounds. She grew up Texas conservative and I am California liberal. She is Brooks Brothers and I am Tommy Bahama. Well, maybe I’m more Target. I can’t afford Tommy Bahama.

Earlier this year my very sweet mother-in-law thought it would be a good idea to buy tickets to the Children’s Symphony for her three grandchildren. Poptart and I have one child and Poptart’s brother, we’ll just call him Cap’n Crunch, has two boys.

My mother-in-law bought tickets for all four shows, because it would be cheaper than buying one show at a time. Me thinking this is a bad idea because there is no way in Hell my little terror is going to sit still for ONE symphony, let alone four. I had visions in my mind of my daughter screaming at the top of her lungs while struggling to free herself from her Grandmother’s grasp. It was going to be impossible to keep her quiet and attentive for an hour and a half. Turns out the little traitor loved it and proved me wrong. I hate it when I’m wrong.

So ANYWAY, my sister-in-law and I are supposed to alternate weekends. Of course Poptart and Cap’n Crunch are exempt from this torture because they are men and this here job is for the women folk. So the first weekend my mother-in-law went with my sister-in-law, my nephews, and my daughter. The next weekend it’s my turn to go with my daughter and my nephews. And so on. Well, my very pregnant sister-in-law informs me via e-mail that she cannot pull her shift on her weekend because she has a C-section scheduled. That is the inspiration for this FB post:

MD: My Mother-in-Law has bought tickets for the Children’s Symphony for her
3 grandchildren. My sister-in-law and I are supposed to alternate weekends. There are 4 weekends in all. Well, her weekend is coming up, and now she says she can’t go because she has a C-section scheduled. I can’t believe how selfish she’s being!! Doesn’t she know this is my weekend to do nothing?

Dawn: Typical…it’s all about HER…what a Hag!!!

James: What a bitch!

Mo: Gawd, what nerve she has to bow out of her obligations!!! We feel for you Stacy.

Dawn: Well…when she NEEDS you to babysit it will be such a shame that you will be too busy because you will be giving each blade of grass in your neighborhood it’s own name….TAKE THAT!

MD: * Sigh* Now I have to get pregnant just to get back at her. The things I do for revenge.

Dawn: Revenge knows no boundaries.

Christina: Um, ok wait- is getting pregnant revenge for her or from her?

MD: That’s a really good question. Thanks Christina, now I’m just confused.

Dawn: ***Internal Dialog*** “Crap…now I have to go to Stacy’s and explain things again…DAMN THAT CHRISTINA! When will she learn to use small words!

Christina: Hey Dawn, I’ve got some small words for you.

Christina: Shhhhh. I just noticed Poptart logged on. I think he’s spying on us. ***Waving*** Hi Poptart!!!

Dawn: Heeeeyyyyy Poptart… are you? Lookin good! ***Thumbs up***

MD: Wait, I just got it! Small words….that’s funny.

My sister-in-law did indeed have my beautiful new niece and is enjoying every minute of her new daughter. The baby is happy, healthy, and thanks to awesome aunt Stacy, very well dressed.

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