Facebook saved my life!!
My husband moved me to Texas and I still hate him for it! I have been here for a year and a half now and I will always yearn for San Diego. But at least one thing is true. Texas is much better that the year we spent in Ft. Collins CO. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not ripping on anybody’s hometown. I’m just bitter it’s not mine.
And that is how this whole thing started. While we were living in Ft. Collins I had felt as though I had dropped off the face of the earth. Instead of beaches and wonderful gay men dancing in their underwear in clothing store windows. I was now faced with cows and K Mart. “Where the f^*k am I?” I love my husband, and this should prove it! We had moved there because my husband was doing his Post Doc at CSU and of course there is nothing like a good adventure right? WRONG!
I had joined a mommies group because my daughter was one and I was dying for some social interaction. Considering they didn’t have a group for mom’s who use to smoke pot and surf, I had to make due with what I could find. The women were nice enough, except they were very granola. Now I consider myself a hippie, but these ladies are next level. There is nothing quite like meeting a woman’s group for the first time and being affronted by breasts from every angle. I think breast-feeding is natural and beautiful, but when he’s old enough to borrow the car, you may want to reconsider another form of food source. Then there was me. The cussing, disposable diaper, plastic bottle, formula-feeding mom. Who is more in love with her stiletto collection then her own family. I was a stranger in a strange land. How was I going to make it?
Seriously lonely and bored my husband kept bugging me to join Facebook. All I could think was, what a stupid idea. Then one night out of desperation, I logged on. My first friend request came in. A friend from high school. Jason. We started bantering, and for the first time in months I laughed. Like REALLY laughed. This was great!! In came the second friend request. Also from high school, my girlfriend Jen. Finally I had a lifeline to the outside world. My best friends from Cali were going to be so happy for me!!! Not because I was happy. But because I would finally stop calling them everyday.
Now I have 285 very close personal friends. Okay, maybe I don’t really know all of them. I accepted a friend request from a German guy because I thought he was a guy I went to college with. Turns out, he’s not. I also sent a friend request to a girl with the exact same name. Seriously? I have a really screwed up last name. What are the chances? But I started posting. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I used it as my personal journal. Around September 2009, I started keeping the posts and some of the responses. They were so funny!! I just couldn’t figure out what to do with them.
Then slowly people stared popping up and telling me they enjoyed my posts. A girlfriend suggested I start a blog. Okay, why not. But, It’s not just me. Some of the responses to the posts are brilliant! So that’s what brings us here today. I live in Texas. Yes I’m still pissed. This is the first page of my blog. And I hope that you enjoy yourself as much as I have. This will be part blog, and part highlights of the FB posts. And if you are easily offended and don’t like crude language. Then let this be the last thing of mine you read. Because from here on out, it’s no holds barred.